The Holiday Lights Story (its kinda funny!)
Holiday Memories
"SCREW IT!" my mom screamed in tears as she threw a tangled mess of half working, half not working Christmas lights onto the floor. My sister and I, teenagers at the time, stood by the tree and gave each other that look like "man, we better start helping or do something because this isn't good."
We laugh about this story now, but looking back I know exactly what my mom was feeling. She worked full time, had full custody of us kids, was managing the household, and trying to make the holidays special for us girls - who weren't really that into it or helping much at all.
Basically - she was doing too much with too little help and that one damn light that made the whole string go out was her breaking point. But what if she could have helped herself before that point so she didn't have to feel that way?
YOU make every day special
The pressure at this time of year is palpable. Whether you've successfully navigated your holidays already or are still prepping, there are still year-end deadlines at work, family obligations, and requests coming from all directions competing for your time and energy.
It is easy to feel overwhelmed. Add in the societal pressure to "enjoy the holidays" and "make wonderful memories", and you can easily feel like screaming and throwing things on the floor too.
As you feel this pressure building, try to notice those first stress signals. Is it racing thoughts, an inability to focus, tightness in your chest or stomach, a twitch in your eye, or something else?
Paying attention to your FIRST stress signals is one way to help head it off at the pass. Once you recognize your stress signal, you can name it and address it.
Example: I am unable to focus on my tasks at hand, which I know is one of my early warning stress signals. When I start to circle, I say it out loud "I am feeling unfocused" and then I take out a notebook and write out everything I have to do so I can see it and prioritize it.
This strategy works for me and your strategy will be unique to you. Find a strategy that can help you take it down a notch BEFORE you are already at a 10. Recognize your stress signals early so that you can take 1-2 minutes to step back, breathe, and name how you are feeling.
Will this strategy eliminate all of your year-end, holiday stress? NO.
But it will give you multiple moments a day to DECIDE what to do next, before you reach your breaking point. Sometimes there isn't anything you can actually do with the feeling, such as feeling sadness for a missing loved one or feeling unmotivated to be in the holiday spirit.
It is ok. Name how you are feeling and accept it. Be with the feeling. Give yourself a few minutes and then do what you need to do to move on.
Maybe your next best move is to jump back into your task list. Or to make a cup of tea. Or to lay down for 10 minutes. Or to say no to that event that is causing you anxiety. Or to say yes to a quiet night at home instead of the many events you could do (and seems like everyone else is doing based on social media).
Just pay attention to YOU. Because you can make this time of year more satisfying if you give yourself the space to pay attention to your needs and early warning stress signals.
And lastly - give yourself grace. You are doing enough. You are enough. Read it again.
You are doing ENOUGH. You are ENOUGH.
And if you need to throw those damn lights on the ground and shed a few tears, you do it! Give yourself a minute, pick them back up (or throw them out), and keep moving forward in a way that feels good for you.
Because you are special. You make the day special. And everyday you walk this earth is special. Sure, we like to focus more on the holidays and new year, etc. But in reality, it is just another day. Another day for you to take back your power and claim it as YOU decide what to say yes to, what to say no to, and when you need a break.
Cheers to less stress and more joy this year-end,
Sharon
PS - As stated, we all get a good laugh now recalling that time my mom threw the lights on the floor, and then eventually into the garbage. It reminds me that the things that feel so important and overwhelming today most likely won't matter much in the future. We still had a great Christmas. We still knew our mom loved us. And looking back, I wish we could've helped her do more of what she needed to not feel so overwhelmed.
If things don't go according to plan, you will likely be able to laugh about in the future, even if it really stings today. I'm not dismissing what you feel today - the struggle is REAL. But keep the bigger picture in mind to help release some of the pressure you are feeling and know that it will all be ok.
Holiday Gift Ideas
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