On the Move, AGAIN.....
Moving and Other Chaos
Our family is grateful to be moving back to our home on Sanibel in the next several weeks - it has been an unbelievable journey since Hurricane Ian displaced us. And while there is excitement and optimism, there is also a lot of emotion, stress, and chaos. Because let's be real - moving is never fun, especially when you are juggling it with family, work, end-of-school activities, sports schedules, contractors, and LIFE. So I'm sharing the strategies that are working for me during this stressful time in hopes they can help you too.
Managing Chaos
First of all - realistic expectations make all the difference in the world. Even when everything is planned well, unexpected things occur, and nothing is perfect. Yet we often expect things to run smoothly and get frustrated when they don't.
Regardless of what chaos you are in or facing, take a step back and look at the situation realistically. What can you actually get done while leaving room for the unexpected frustrations that will inevitably happen?
This may be blocking time on your calendar to get caught up on things, having a backup caregiver, delegating more, renegotiating deadlines, and/or saying no to something.
This also includes adjusting your mindset to expect things won't be perfect and have a strategy to deal with that. I'm not talking about overplanning or catastrophizing everything, but if you accept that the experience is going to feel like a 5 out of 10 instead of a 9 out of 10, it takes some of the pressure off.
In this time of stress I am doubling-down on the strategies that work for me - more sleep, more walks, less sugar, regularly scheduled calls with people that lift me up, and a whole lot more forgiveness for myself.
I'm juggling a lot and it is draining. Instead of pushing through, I'm allowing myself to rest and reset as often as I need to. It feels counterintuitive to my "get shit done" mindset, but it is preventing the meltdowns that I would have experienced in this situation in the past.
I'm also allowing myself to define what "good enough" is. Teacher appreciation week of activities? NO. They are getting cash and a card and I don't feel one bit guilty about that. Organized packing? NO. Stuff goes into boxes and will get organized when I unpack. Countless invites to networking activities? NO. I chose the two most impactful for me this month and said no to the rest.
I'm communicating my needs and limitations to others. Old me used to pretend everything was fine when it wasn't. Especially as a coach, someone who preaches this stuff every day, part of me wants to appear like I have it together all the time.
But that is unrealistic and not genuine. No one has it all together all the time. I am being really honest about what I can and cannot do over the next month. I am honest with my clients, my kids, my spouse, my friends, and the organizations I volunteer for.
And you know what? I've been met with so much understanding. And they all benefit because their expectations are now realistic. They can't be too disappointed because I've let them know how much they will/will not be getting from me. And they know if I have an "off" day, it is related to this temporary change that will soon pass.
So take a look at everything you have on your plate. Get realistic about what you can expect of yourself during this time with a full view of your situation. Implement the strategies that you know work, even if you don't feel like it. (Trust me, I want to eat cookies and watch TV, but I know that won't help me, so I'm taking those options off the table).
Let others know what you are dealing with (to the extent you feel comfortable) and set realistic expectations with your colleagues, family, and friends.
And give yourself some GRACE! Life is messy and chaotic. Change is constant. Unexpected stuff happens. And even the good things can add stress and challenges.
You aren't failing. You are dealing with this messy life in the best way you can. And if life gets to be messy, then you do too!
Let go of perfectionism and the idea that things should run smooth.
I've never met someone with an entirely smooth life. The happiest and most successful people I know have weathered a lot of storms. They succeed because they intentionally choose to embrace things as they are, right-size expectations, and give themselves grace.
Cheers to your messy AND amazing life,
Sharon
Better Manage Your Life
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