More Calm, Less Chaos
Cultivate Calm and Peace
Another week of chaos, pain, sadness, confusion, frustration, anger, fear, and disagreement; stemming from the events of last weekend, more Covid cases, economic uncertainty, and all of other things in our lives. There are ways to move forward with more calm and less chaos, that is proven and has been used for years, and it is easier to access than you think.
Going Inside
Everything starts with you. When you can breathe, when you can calm your mind, when you can acknowledge and accept your feelings and emotions, you can do anything.
One globally accessible way to cultivate calm is box breathing - a specific way of breathing that helps calm your body, calm your mind, lower your blood pressure, and decrease Cortisol, the stress hormone.
How to do box-breathing:
Step 1: Breathe in counting to four slowly. Feel the air enter your lungs.
Step 2: Hold your breath for 4 seconds. Try to avoid inhaling or exhaling for 4 seconds.
Step 3: Slowly exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds.
Step 4: Repeat steps 1 to 3 until you feel re-centered.
It is easy to do anywhere. So easy to do. And yet so easy not to do. And this is where you must intentionally make the choice, in the midst of your anger, frustration, sadness, and "wtf-is-going-on" moments.
Will this make everything in the world better? No. Not directly. But it will help you calm YOU, at which point you can take the next best step for you.
What is that step?
For most of us, the healthiest next step is acceptance and compassion. Accepting the situation for what it is, accepting our feelings for what they are, and having compassion for ourselves in this moment. (This does not mean accepting something as right or ok, it means recognizing what is, so that you can make an objective assessment before deciding what to do next).
You don't have to push through, ignore your feelings, and pretend like everything is ok. While that works in the moment, it always backfires at some point in the future. Over time, unexpressed feelings and emotions cause physical and mental health issues.
And when you are having physical and mental health issues, you can't contribute to the solutions that are so desperately needed.
We need calm, caring, compassionate individuals who are able to make empowered choices aligned with their values and true selves.
Moving forward may actually mean staying exactly where you are and honoring the fact that you need a day off, you need more time to process and explore an emotion, or that you just need time to BE.
Your next best action may be to go to therapy, connect with a friend, journal, read, or continue to discuss your feelings so you can explore them more fully.
Your next best action may be to physically do something, to help others, to listen to music or participate in your favorite activity. You have the power to decide on your next best action once you are CALM.
But you can't get to your next best action from a state of despair, overwhelm, anger, or fear.
For any of you doubting the power of this breathing technique, try it consistently for the next 10 days and let me know how it is going. So often we dismiss something because it seems too simple, or we've heard it 100 times and think we will do it "one day".
Do it today. Do it right now. Set a timer on your phone and do it every hour. Write it on a post-it note to remind yourself. Put it in your calendar. JUST DO IT!
I'm doing it too. I'm tired and frustrated and angry at the world at times. I want to throw rocks at people and shake them and scream and curse my head off and find the person to blame and cry and rage and all of those things (and some times I do for a hot minute). I'm human.
But then I breathe. I accept that part of being human is enduring moments of suffering. I am compassionate with myself. I try my best to show compassion to others. I focus on what I am grateful for.
And then I take action that makes me feel better. I walk, I volunteer, I connect with others, and I remind myself that all is not lost. I do my part, aligned with my life vision and my core values.
You have the power to change your life, to change the lives of those around you, and to change the world. It all starts with you.
Just breathe.
Cheers to your inner calm as your pathway to power,
Sharon
Unsure of your next best action?
Get clear about what you really want in this life - personally and professionally. Get clear on your core values, the impact you want to make, and the people and places you want to spend your time with.
A Life Vision Intensive is a 2-hour coaching session where we dive into what energizes you, brings you joy, and makes you feel fulfilled. I provide you a written summary of your Life Vision and your core values, and we discuss how to use this as a tool going forward.
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