Heal Yourself, Heal the World

It all starts with you

It isn't your fault that you've been hurt.  It isn't your fault that you've suffered trauma, embarrassment, harassment, abuse, or loss.  But it is your responsibility to heal.  No one can do it for you.  And if you don't heal what hurt you, you risk bleeding on those that didn't cut you. 

Without healing, you risk perpetuating the pain, grief, loss, and trauma that you experienced.  

You Are Worth It

You deserve to heal.  You deserve to be freed of all the lingering pain, thoughts, limitations, and issues that you carry with you every day.

If you don't heal, you will (consciously or subconsciously) continue to harm others in your life.  Your children deserve better.  Your partner deserves better.  Your colleagues deserve better.  Your community deserves better.  YOU deserve better.

Again, many times the continuation of these patterns isn't conscious - they are so embedded you may not even realize you are perpetuating harm.

The abused either abuse those they have power over, or are so withdrawn and fearful they teach others to hide and never reach their full potential.

The ones who have felt over-criticized either hold others to unrealistic standards and criticize or let others walk over them in an effort to make-up for what they suffered.

Those that had no control when growing up find all sorts of unhealthy ways to have control - by either hurting themselves or others.  Eating disorders, substance abuse, perfectionism, controlling every aspect of another being's life, and destructive patterns in relationships are just a few examples.

Those that were neglected form unhealthy attachments in relationships, eventually ruining most of them.

And those that feel they must be stronger spend their lives focused on helping others instead of facing the pain of healing themselves.  What they don't realize is that they can only help others as deeply as they've helped themselves.  And while they have good intentions, it backfires at some point.

These issues affect your personal life, but also your professional life.

And as you move through this world you model behavior for others.  Your children, friends, family, and colleagues are all affected by your actions whether you mean for them to be or not.  They are watching you and it is affecting them.

Your overwhelm, your outbursts, your disconnection, your over-achieving, your under-achieving - all of it is hurting you while also hurting others.

Heal.

Go to therapy.  Talk with a trusted loved one.  Find things that actually uncover your traumas and help you work through them.

It will be hard.  It will be uncomfortable.  You will cry.  It takes a toll.  It takes time.

But once you heal, you will be healthy.  Truly healthy, not just bandaging up an infected old wound.

Because that is how this works.  You use a band-aid.  You either work yourself to death to prove your worth or you pick fights with your partner or you play the victim because "bad things always happen to you" or you attempt to drink away your problems or distract yourself.  And it works for a little bit, you feel alright.

Like putting a band-aid on a cut, but the piece of debris is still under the skin.  It starts to look and feel better.  But every time you rub up against it, it bleeds again.  Eventually it gets infected.

It pusses up at the worst times.  It starts to infect the whole limb.  Eventually you just stop using that limb because you are so used to it.  But if you would just go through the one-time pain to have the debris extracted, you could truly heal!

You could use that limb and be the amazing person you want and deserve to be!

Stop pretending like a band-aid is what you need.

You need surgery.  Or in this case, therapy.

You need to heal.  For you.  For those you love.

Because this world can't take anymore unhealed perpetuators of loss and chaos.

Cheers to healing,
Sharon

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