But My Job is REALLY Important!
I don't have time for rest
I used to say this often and I still hear it in some circles of women: "Rest and relaxation sound nice - but I have a BIG JOB and REAL RESPONSIBILITIES because I AM IMPORTANT and NEEDED and you just wouldn't understand".
Yikes. But I know it can really feel that way. And I know this mindset leads to one outcome: Burnout.
Mental Health is Health
May is Mental Health Awareness month and this TEDx video from Jen Fisher (Deloitte's Chief Wellbeing Officer and Human Sustainability Leader) hits home when it comes to the difficult choice between working and wellbeing. WATCH IT HERE.
It is 14 minutes (yeah, I know you're too busy) and entirely worth it. Watch it now.
Jen talks through her cancer diagnosis, and how she thought she might die. She talks about feeling unfit to lead wellbeing when she wasn't well herself. And she talks about creating sustainable boundaries so she could continue to work through her treatment (which she felt were easier to uphold) because "no one asks you for just 15 minutes when you're getting chemo."
But what happens when you don't have cancer?
Jen actually states that cancer wasn't her biggest challenge. It came years before when she was the right-hand woman to a CEO and was working all hours of the day and night.
She was postponing sleep, rest, enjoyment - basically everything she needed and wanted- in order to work. She was losing herself little by little without even knowing it. As her loved ones expressed concern, she felt that they just didn't get it.
The work she was doing was SO IMPORTANT. It wasn't like she could just walk away. Which is, in her words, what burnout looked like for her.
She talks about the difference between burnout and cancer. Everyone understands cancer. It is a specific diagnosis. But there isn't a concrete medical diagnosis for burnout, and a lot of people even question the validity.
Jen's story resonates deeply because it is EXACTLY how I felt as I burned out in my corporate role. I was the picture of success from the outside while I felt l was slowly dying on the inside.
I felt afraid to admit how overwhelmed I was because I didn't want to be seen as weak or unfit for my role. And everyone around me was working hard too - so how could I ask for what I needed?
Jen faced the fact that she might need to quit (spoiler: she didn't). My story was different - I did leave corporate. And while quitting isn't the answer for most, a big part of why I left was because I no longer felt connected to the work I was doing, and I found a more fulfilling and deeper calling in coaching.
As Jen states, the cure for burnout isn't more sleep or a vacation. And for her, it wasn't quitting either. It is addressing the underlying issues, fears, and beliefs that keep people from investing in their wellbeing because of the pressure to "keep up" or "do more".
Based on my experience (my own burnout as well as helping dozens of women overcome it), curing burnout includes:
Uncoupling one's worth from their title/pay/productivity
Setting healthy boundaries that support the life and career one wants
Awareness and alignment of values to reduce internal resistance/anxiety
Recognition of one's real limits vs. limiting beliefs
Reducing the fear of "not belonging"
Recognition of one's own ego and how it may be driving harmful behaviors
Increasing stress management strategies that work for oneself (through experimentation and continued practice)
Building confidence to ask for what one needs
Right-sizing one's career within one's life at any point in time
There are always tradeoffs in life. But when we keep trading our health and wellbeing for some external validation or reward, we burnout.
But we don't just burnout. We burnout AND we ruin relationships, decrease our mental and physical health, decrease our resiliency, and start to erode the reputation we fought so hard to create.
We start to bring down those around us and/or become a burden to them as we become the one that needs help. Burnt out leaders perpetuate burnout culture and model the unhealthy behaviors that most ladder-climbers will mimic in order to get promoted. Burnt out parents scream at their kids or can't be mentally present. Burnt out friends isolate and keep promising they will make it to the next get together while their friends lose faith in them.
Jen's message is important for all of us to hear. And I am with her in her quest for sustainable ways of working that help us reach our goals WITHOUT burning out and sacrificing ourselves.
Her 3 tips towards sustainable working:
Take care of yourself- including healthy boundaries
Leadership with human skills - focused on more than just the bottom line, with wellbeing as one of their leadership skills
Systemic solutions within workplaces - reducing overbearing bureaucracy and behaviors that keep employees working in ways that are no longer working
None of this is an easy fix. If it was, burnout wouldn't be the huge issue that it is. But all change starts small.
It starts with you.
You have the opportunity to shift your mindset and your actions to increase your wellbeing. You have the opportunity to model healthy behaviors for your families, colleagues, and communities.
You have the opportunity to be the change you want to see in this world. And I'm here to help.
If you feel you are headed for burnout, or are trying your best to recover, reach out and we will carefully and sustainably restore your energy and zest for life as you build an aligned life and career. Schedule a free confidential call HERE.
Because you deserve to enjoy this life you are working so hard for!
Cheers to your wellbeing,
Sharon
Create the Life You Want - Without Burning Out
Move forward with clarity. I help women stop doubting themselves, get clear on the life they really want, and remove the obstacles in the way. The first step is to schedule a free, confidential strategy call by CLICKING HERE.
Want something specific right away? Join me on June 4th with an amazing group of women who want to take control of their summer and set themselves up for success through year-end! My "Sun, Fun & Strategy: Ignite Summer Fun and Fuel Year-End Success" workshop is FREE and you will walk away with your own map to a fun summer that sets you up for success through year-end.
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I take pride in providing practical, actionable steps that work in your very busy life so that you can create work/life success on your terms. Life is too short to stay stressed and stuck. I've helped so many people reclaim their life. I can help you too.
