Finish the Year Strong (or Not)

Wrap up the year YOUR way

There is a lot of hype around finishing off the year "strong".  In my experience, this translates into finishing off the year doing as much as possible until you are so stressed out you fall over or wish you could disappear.  What if you took a minute to decide, INTENTIONALLY, how you wanted to finish 2022?  Would you prefer to close out this year with peace?  Or sanity?  Or ease?  Or with health, respect for your body, or something else that would serve you better?  Well...... you can!  Here is where to start:

What Matters Most to YOU?

We have so much power over our lives, yet we give so much of it away.  Many times our actions are subconscious.  They are habits, how we are socialized, and what is considered respectable in the circles we spend time in.

This year, instead of doing what you think you HAVE to do before year-end, take an intentional approach to do what you WANT to do.

For me, I want to close out this year feeling centered.  I want to feel present without getting too far ahead of myself wondering what the future will hold and without feeling stuck in sadness about what I am missing from the past.

How do you want to close out 2022?  Think through the following areas of your life:

• Health

• Family

• Career

• Relationships

• Finances

• Community

And then ask yourself these four questions for each:

• What would success look/feel like in this aspect of my life (realistic success in the next 4 weeks)?

• How important is that to my overall wellbeing and fulfillment? (on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being most important)

• What is one step I can take towards that outcome? 

• What is one thing I can let go of?

I'm providing some personal examples to get you started, but take out a notebook and jot down your responses as you go through them:

Health
Success = feel energized, rested, maintain weight, and stay active.
Importance = 5 - how I feel effects every other aspect of my being including how I show up to work, with my family, and in my other relationships.
One step I can take = committing to yoga once a week (yoga connects me to the present moment).
One thing I can let go of = eating my kids candy before bed.

Committing to yoga once a week isn't going to necessarily allow me to reach my goal of feeling energized, maintaining my weight, and staying active.  But it is something realistic that I can commit to that feels tangible.  

Many times, the inertia of inactivity leads to more inactivity.  But the inertia of doing something helps you do more.  I walk almost every day and I love it.  It has become a habit so it isn't hard for me to keep it up.  But before I had this habit, it was easy for me not to do any activity for weeks (maybe even months) at a time.  When I committed to one Pilates class a week over four years ago, it kickstarted my activity habit and has led me to where I am today.

Family
Success = seeing my local family members to celebrate the holidays, creating lasting memories with my children, and approaching them with a loving feeling (instead of constantly expressing annoyance, distraction, or being out of patience).
Importance = 4 - this is important to me, especially giving my attention to our children due to our recent displacement.  I want to be a source of strength and understanding instead of another unpredictable, reactive part of their life.
One step I can take = planning one activity where I know I can be present and we can all enjoy it.
One thing I can let go of = activities that trigger me (specifically agreeing to events with people I don't enjoy).

This one is tricky.  Planning one awesome activity won't guarantee I am present or not annoyed with them in other instances.  But planning this one activity allows me to not feel as guilty saying no to other things that trigger me. 

Be honest with yourself on this one.  If seeing that Aunt, or showing up to that event, or cramming in six holiday parties leaves you feeling exhausted and stressed each year, then don't do it.  

It is hard to say no to things, especially when there are family expectations (don't even get me started!).  But here's the thing - you are an adult.  You are responsible for YOU.  And you have the power to say yes or no.  Get past the uncomfortable feeling of disappointing others and honor yourself. 

I mean, why is disappointing yourself ok in order to not disappoint others?  Are their wishes more important than yours?  (This question is an eye-opener for many of my clients)

Career
Success = closing out the year having expressed gratitude to my clients and a clear vision for my 2023 business plan.
Importance = 4 - I take deep pride in supporting my clients and modeling the behavior I believe will help them.
One step I can take = going through my client list and ensuring at least an email has been sent and setting aside an afternoon with a business partner to vision for 2023 (yes these are two actions, but I confident I can accomplish both).
One thing I can let go of = reaching out to all of my potential prospects before year end.  Everyone is busy, so waiting until January is ok.

Relationships
Success = ensuring my amazing network knows how much I appreciate them and all of the support they have provided.
Importance = 4 - this is important to me.  Connection is one of my core values and lifts my mood.
One step I can take = sending out holiday cards.  While it may not feel personal or good enough, it is something I know I can complete before year-end and it gives me joy.
One thing I can let go of = guilt for not being able to get back to everyone or sending gifts.  My friends don't reach out just because they want something back, they understand that everyone is busy (and most of them don't need or want more "stuff").

Finances
Success = preserving savings.  (Most years the goal would be much loftier but I'm being realistic about my current situation post-hurricane)
Importance = 4 - financial stability is really important to me and I can adjust my spending/working based on our circumstances as long as I know where I stand.
One step I can take = downloading expenses into excel (including the recent one-offs due to the hurricane) and comparing it to the current income.
One thing I can let go of = fear that I will be in this situation forever.  Renting while paying a mortgage isn't great, but it is temporary.

Community
Success = developing meaningful relationships and giving my time to causes that matter to me, specifically the HBA and organizations that support families in need.
Importance = 3 - it is important, but in the scheme of the other items, it isn't as high.
One step I can take = checking in with the president of my HBA chapter to remind her of my enthusiasm and availability in 2023.
One thing I can let go of = any new commitments.  I don't have the bandwidth and anything additional will stress me instead of making me feel like a valuable part of the community.

These are very personal and will likely not resonate with you, but my hope is that the examples get you started on what is most important to YOU.

The point is this:  you don't have the finish the year STRONG.  You get to choose what you want, and more importantly, what you DON'T want between now and the end of the year. 

You don't have to do it all. 

But you have to be intentional.  If you aren't making empowered choices, you will be pushed and pulled in every direction by the world around you and made to feel like it still isn't enough.

End this year in a way that feels good for YOU!

Cheers to a fulfilling close to 2022,
Sharon

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