What Are You Focused On?

What Are You Focused On?

Are you focused on what's going right, or what's going wrong?  In today's world, it is easy to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and stressed.  And when we feel that way, our thoughts can be overly negative.  But what we focus on grows.  And the last thing we need is for our problems to grow! 

Focusing on the Good

What you focus on grows.

If you look for all the reasons you aren't good enough, you will find them.  Because we can always do a little better, a little more.

If you look for examples of your strength, competence, kindness, and resilience, you will find them too.  Because you are already amazing.

If you want to build your confidence, write down things you've done each day that demonstrate your abilities and focus on growing them.  Remind yourself of your brilliance, not your faults.

I can't tell you how true this has been in my life.  When I focus on everything I didn't get done, my to-do list seems to magically get longer and my anxiety goes up.  When I focus on my accomplishments, no matter how small, I feel energized and I more quickly get through my tasks.

Think about examples in your life.  Colleague/spouse/friend annoying you?  The more you think about what a jerk he/she is, the more everything they do bothers you.  If you step back and think of a time that person was good to you, it helps reduce those negative feelings.

It might not make them a saint, but this isn't about changing the people around us.  (Sadly, none of us have that kind of power).  It is about changing our own perception. 

Because our perception IS our reality.  

If you focus on how messy and loud your kids are, it is all you see and hear.  If you switch your focus to how funny and in-the-moment they are, it is so much easier to appreciate them.

If you focus on how many mean, angry people there are in this world, it is easy to feel hopeless.  But if you focus on how many people are doing good everyday - from volunteers to your bestie who sent you a funny text to get you through the day - you start to see the world as filled with hope.

If you focus on your extra 5 lbs or other "flaws", it is literally all you see in the mirror.  If you focus on your amazing smile and sense of humor, you feel light and good about yourself.

If you focus on how crappy the weather is, it can ruin your whole day.  If you focus on those comfy socks and your warm cup of tea, you feel safer and warmer.  

If you focus on what everyone is doing wrong at work, it will be almost impossible to feel motivated to do your tasks.  If you focus on the solutions, you can start to see opportunities.

All of these shifts take intention.  Our minds are actually wired to think negatively by default.  So it isn't just you - it is all of us.  Left unchecked, our minds will go to the bad.  

It takes consistent effort.  And like any habit, the more you do it, the easier it becomes until it becomes your default.  

One way I've done this over the years is by surrounding myself with positive messages and reminders.  I have a tear-off calendar with a daily funny/inspiring quote.  I unfollow negative people and have filled my social media feeds with uplifting and humorous posts.  And when I start complaining, I catch myself in the act and try to say one positive thing to follow it up.  

It is worth highlighting the social media thing.  These platforms have sophisticated algorithms that purposely trigger you to get you to keep scrolling and clicking.  It is literally their business model.  And the more they trigger your emotions, the more you scroll and the more they win. 

They don't care that it is spiking your anxiety and making you lose hope in humanity.  You have to get out of the habit and either cut it off entirely, limit it, or make the effort to seek out the positive stories/posts.

Gratitude is another really strong way to switch your focus.  I write in a gratitude journal every night - just a quick sentence or two - and it forces me to think of what I have instead of what I don't. 

I can't overstate how important it is to be intentional with your thoughts.  Your internal voice is running the show whether you realize it or not.  The more you allow your focus to be dragged into drama, complaints, and all that is wrong, the worse you will feel. 

The world is what it is.  The people around you are who they are.  The weather is what it is. 

It is up to you.  Focus on the good, and it will grow.  Focus on the bad, and it will also grow.
 
Where will you focus your thoughts today? 

Cheers to your positive focus,
Sharon

Focus on the Life of YOUR Dreams

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