Becoming the One You Needed
Who did you need?
Empathy is required to be a great leader - all of the recent studies state this. Where do you start with strengthening your empathy? By increasing empathy for yourself.
Look at yourself with kind eyes - who did you need as a child? As a young adult? At the start of your career? Really go back to those moments and ask yourself who would have helped you most in those moments, and what qualities that person would have. Once you have that list, decide who YOU want to be - for yourself and others.
Why is this so impactful? Because while we can't go back in time, we can create a very different future for ourselves and those around us. We can give ourselves the gift of the things we didn't receive when we needed it most. Better late than never! So let's start now.......
Creating Your Future
I'm currently participating in a training on Positive Intelligence and how to break out of our own self-sabotaging behaviors in order to reach our full potential and become the people we are meant to be.
The people we are "meant to be" is the true essence of who we innately are, before we were socialized a certain way, harmed by those who raised us (intentionally or unintentionally), and developed ways of thinking to protect our very vulnerable young selves.
Getting back to our true essence requires introspection and empathy towards ourselves. It is meant to be a way of observing who we are and what we need/needed, without judgment. It is looking into the eyes of our 6-year old self and loving them, unconditionally.
The true gift of this exercise helps us better understand 1) who we are and 2) who we needed back then to live into our essence instead of betraying it for societal gains.
There is so much power in knowing ourselves. We can stand tall and proud when we embrace who we are without judgment. When we stand tall and proud, we don't feel defensive or the need to escape. We can show up the way we want to without all the drama in our minds and hearts about what we "should" be doing.
There is also a lot of power in being who we once needed. It is a self-affirming, extremely powerful move to recognize that we don't have to rely on others to be who we needed because WE can be who we need!
And when we can fulfill our own needs, we are UNSTOPPABLE! No more co-dependency on others, no more waiting for the gold stars and acceptance from others, no more stressing about what others think. Just pure, grounded energy that is ready to do good in this world.
(Let me be clear here - I'm not saying to stop relying on others - I am all about delegation, outsourcing, and asking for what you need. I'm very specifically talking about self-acceptance, self-love, and the inner needs that are our foundation. Asking for help may be how you achieve this, whether that is therapy, counseling, coaching, or another form of support.)
Empathy towards yourself will improve your happiness and fulfillment. Becoming who you needed will improve your self-confidence and inner strength.
When you are happy, fulfilled, confident, and strong - you are not only a great leader, you are a great human.
The kind of human that inspires others, brings positive energy to others, and can bring people together around a common cause. Whether that cause is a project at work, a volunteer opportunity in your community, or a collective forgiveness for the sake of family love and bonding - this is how you will change the world for the better.
This is how you will reach success in your family, your finances, your career, and your relationships. It all starts with YOU. So go find a picture of 6-year old you and look into their eyes. See past the superficial flaws and conditioned responses. Who is that person? And what does he/she need?
Be that.
I've been doing that exact task this past week as part of the training. I found a picture of young me - the me that was still TOTALLY me before the grades mattered, before the tough adolescent years, before alcohol became my crutch and best friend, and before my career became my identity - and I stared at her lovingly in an effort to increase my self empathy.
I looked at who she is and what she needed back then. And while at times this exercise felt silly, it also moved me. It helped me realize that my true essence is still within me and always will be. It helped me see the innocence and kindness that deserves to be celebrated instead of seeing those traits as weaknesses.
It helped me go back in time to get clear on who I needed back then and the understanding I was seeking. I was/am kind, compassionate, and sensitive. I needed others to value me for who I was without telling me I needed to be tougher, smarter, or more polite.
It is helping me grow, and also helping me extend empathy to others. When I am super frustrated with someone, I am visualizing them as the 6-year old that they once were. The being who needed someone to support them and their inherent strengths.
The benefits are huge - less stress and frustration on my part and better solutions. Less energy spent on negative thoughts and more energy spent on productive ways forward. Less comparison and more understanding that we are all on a different part of our journey with our own timelines.
More empathy is helping me lead myself and others better. Because when I'm better, those around me benefit.
Your greatest contribution to your family, your career, and to this world is being YOU, in your true essence. Your second greatest contribution is being who you needed for others so that you break the negative chain and create a brighter, more fulfilling future for everyone around you.
You are a leader. Lead with empathy, and everyone wins.
Cheers to your 6-year old self,
Sharon
Picture of 6-year old me, hugging my younger sister:
Take an action of Self-Love
Invest in figuring out who you truly are and what you truly want in life. In your relationships, your career, your family, your finances, and your community. Invest in YOU.
Book a Life Vision Intensive, a 2-hour coaching session to help you get clear on what you really want so that you can make it a reality. No judgment, just digging into what lights you up so we can develop a clear, concise summary of what a well-lived life means to YOU.
Together we will create your Life Vision document to use as a practical tool going forward so that you can ensure you are focused on the activities needed to achieve your goals and desires with self-love, empathy, and the capacity to lead.
Life Vision Intensive Details - Click HERE:
Initial 2-hour video chat, additional 1-hour follow-up to finalize
Core values exercise
Life Vision document
Investment - $299
Reserve HERE (select Life Vision Intensive) and I will reach out to you to confirm, or schedule time to chat more about it (no pressure ever) by clicking HERE.
