Are You Sabotaging Yourself? (Hint: Yes, You Are)
YOU are your biggest obstacle
"Your mind is your best friend. But it can also be your worst enemy. Your mind is constantly sabotaging your potential for both performance and happiness. All your negative emotions, including stress, are the result of self-sabotage" ~ From the Positive Intelligence Website
The good news is that you can identify and work around these self-inflicted saboteurs to help boost performance, improve wellbeing, and strengthen relationships. (Quiz link below)
Positive Intelligence
What if the biggest obstacle in your life is YOU?
Research has revealed we all have saboteurs, the voices inside our heads that generate negative emotions and cause stress, anxiety, self-doubt, restlessness, and unhappiness. They sabotage our performance, wellbeing, and relationships.
Basically, they are our own internal bullies. Not cool :(
The cool part is that we can identify our saboteurs and overcome them with positive new habits.
Want to identify your saboteurs? Go to the Positive Intelligence website and take the quiz:
https://www.positiveintelligence.com/saboteurs/
It will help you understand which of the saboteurs is your biggest bully, filling your thoughts with negative lies. I'm including some information from the website here, but please visit it, as it has a wealth of information.
First there is the JUDGE (or Master Saboteur). We all have this one. This one beats you up repeatedly over mistakes and shortcomings, obsessively warns you about future risks, and wakes you up in the middle of the night worrying.
The JUDGE works with one or more accomplice saboteurs to do even more damage. They are:
Avoider - Focusing on the positive and pleasant in an extreme way. Avoiding difficult and unpleasant tasks and conflicts.
Controller - Anxiety-based need to take charge and control situations and people's actions to one's own will. High anxiety and impatience when that is not possible.
Hyper-Achiever - Dependent on constant performance and achievement for self-respect and self-validation. Latest achievement quickly discounted, needing more.
Hyper-Rational - Intense and exclusive focus on the rational processing of everything, including relationships. Can be perceived as uncaring, unfeeling, or intellectually arrogant.
Hyper-Vigilant - Continuous intense anxiety about all the dangers and what could go wrong. Vigilance that can never rest.
Pleaser - Indirectly tries to gain acceptance and affection by helping, pleasing, rescuing, or flattering others. Loses sight of own needs and becomes resentful as a result.
Restless - Restless, constantly in search of greater excitement in the next activity or constant busyness. Rarely at peace or content with the current activity.
Stickler - Perfectionism and a need for order and organization taken too far. Anxious trying to make too many things perfect.
Victim - Emotional and temperamental as a way to gain attention and affection. An extreme focus on internal feelings, particularly painful ones. Martyr streak.
These saboteurs are taking up space and getting in the way of our dreams, goals, success, and fulfillment.
They started off with good intentions to help us survive the real and imagined threats in our world as children. Now that we are grown, we don't need these pesky bullies any longer, but they are still hanging out in our heads.
The first step to getting rid of them is to identify them.
Take the quiz and identify the saboteurs causing the majority of your pain. Once you know, you can start to address your saboteurs the way you would a bully in real life - by punching them in the face!
No - just kidding. But you will be able to recognize them, stand up to them because you know you deserve to be treated better, and do whatever you can to silence those jerks because we all know they're just acting out.
How do you silence your saboteurs? With practice. By labeling your thoughts and emotions so you can intentionally let them go. By discrediting your saboteurs' lies and limiting beliefs and replacing them with the positive things you know about yourself. And by activating your ability to positively reframe your thoughts.
My top 3 saboteurs (in this order): 1) Hyper-Achiever, 2) Pleaser, and 3) Avoider.
So I measure my self-worth on my performance while trying to please everyone around me and avoiding all unpleasant tasks and conflicts. No wonder I felt stressed so often! I was always trying to achieve more to make others happy while simultaneously avoiding all of the hard stuff that I needed for my own success, growth, and happiness.
By recognizing these saboteurs, I've been able to more quickly shift my mindset from critical self-talk to more productive thoughts such as: "I've done enough and I deserve rest", "I can please others when it also pleases me", "I am important too", and "Addressing this difficult thing now will make life easier later".
For more detailed steps on how to overcome your saboteurs, go to the Positive Intelligence website, it is worth your time: https://www.positiveintelligence.com/
Because you are far too smart to be the only thing standing in your way.
Cheers to YOUR positive intelligence,
Sharon
What's In Your Way?
Now that you have a clue about what might be in your way, it is important to gain clarity on where you want to go. Define what a fulfilling, successful life looks like for you in all aspects - your health, career, family, relationships, finances, and community.
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