Get Out of Hot Water Before You Get Burned
Getting Out of Hot Water
Have you ever been in a miserable or stressful situation and wondered why you didn't get out sooner? Why you stayed and put up with so much crap for so long? You are not alone. Learn why and how it happens, and how to notice faster in the future so you can bask in the glory of warm water but get out before it gets too hot!
The Frog in the Pot
There is a parable that goes like this:
A frog put into a pot of boiling water will immediately jump out, saving its life.
A frog put into a pot of room temperature water will stay, even as you slowly heat the water up to boiling, until it boils to death.
The reason: when things get worse around you over time, you tend to adjust to them. You accept them as the new norm even though you feel unfulfilled, miserable, or uncomfortable. Until it is too late. And then you boil to death.
Kind of dramatic. And the parable has been proven false, frogs will eventually jump out of the pot of slowly heated water to save their own lives. But it doesn't mean they don't get burned in the process.
And that is the point: You need to change/ get out of unhealthy, unfulfilling situations BEFORE they cause irreparable harm.
How long are you willing to stay in "hot water"? How much pain will you endure before jumping out of your pot? Will you realize the water is too warm once you have small discomfort, or will you wait until you get serious burns that will leave life-long scars?
We all want to believe we will notice the warning signs and make good decisions. In reality, many of us find ourselves in the pot of societal expectations and surrounded by people doing similar things (who are also miserable), making it difficult for us to know if jumping out is even a possibility.
Chronic stress is one of these widespread issues - so many people are in a constant state of stress that they don't remember what it feels like not to be stressed. They are surrounded by other chronically stressed people, so everyone starts to accept this as the "new normal".
I see this a lot with clients and within organizations. Everyone is working so hard, has so many demands on them, and is so overwhelmed, yet it is somehow "normal". They tend to have a hint of future optimism that the temperature will miraculously get turned down instead of heating up, so they just hold on for now.
From the outside looking in, it is easy to see the temperature and know when the frog should get out of the pot. From the inside it is much more difficult.
Which is why you need a new perspective, or vantage point.
Pretend you are a complete outsider to your life, evaluating it objectively. Look at your health, career, family, finances, relationships, and who you are in your chosen communities.
Don't view it from your current situation, view it as a complete stranger with the ability to make any choice they want. What from your current situation would you choose again? What would you get rid of? What is burning you alive, but you couldn't see it until now?
Sometimes the realization that a cornerstone of our life is actually the thing that is boiling us feels painful as well. This type of reflection isn't easy or for the weak.
But it is necessary if you want to live a healthy, fulfilling, successful life.
No one gets out of this life alive. No one gets out scratch-free. But some of us live lives of intention and know when to get out of the pot (or better yet, take control of the temperature to make the pot exactly what we want) before suffering from too much pain. We create or jump to safer, better situations and find joy, fulfillment, and success. Others stay in the pot and endure the pain or wither away, never realizing their full potential.
So figure out what pot you are in, decide if it is helping you or hurting you, and decide if you need to change it or get out. That may be now, it may be at some point in the future, or the time may have already passed, and you could be in a state of suffering right now.
Whatever you discover, it isn't too late. You can make the changes you need to THRIVE outside that harmful pot. You just have to jump. I know you can do it. If you want support, I can help.
Cheers to your greatest jump yet,
Sharon
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