Summer Fun Instead of Summer Stress
Summer is almost here!
Summer comes with ideas of fun, sun, and vacations. It can also come with stress from schedule changes, keeping the kids busy, and/or wanting to "do it all" because of FOMO (fear of missing out). Get intentional about what you really want out of your summer and let go of the rest by creating your:
Must-Haves
Nice-to-Haves
Absolutely Nots
This approach makes it so much easier to say yes to the things you really want and no to the things that bring the most stress.
Your Must-Haves
Get clear about what YOU really want this summer in all aspects of your life. Think about your health, family, career, relationships, finances, and community.
Write down 1-2 things in each of those areas that is important to you. After you look at the list, create a more concrete list of your Must-Haves, Nice-to-Haves, and Absolutely Nots for this coming summer.
The key is to truly think about what energizes YOU, not what everyone else imposes on you.
The beach is a symbol of summer (as an example), but if finding parking stresses you out, you hate the sand, and you rarely have fun - then maybe it isn't something you need to do this year.
FOMO (fear of missing out) plays such a large role in my clients' stress. They feel like they aren't doing enough if they aren't simultaneously seeing friends, spending time with family, planning vacations, spending time outdoors, enrolling in camps, going hiking, losing weight, finishing projects at work, and getting involved in new activities.
This FOMO and stress often take the fun out of summer and result in either overplanning (causing stress), or overwhelm and detachment, thus under planning (resulting in a lack of fulfillment).
Take a few minutes and write out your:
Must-Haves - These bring you JOY and are the most important things you attend, deadlines that must be met, and people you want to spend time with. These are the things that if you don't do them, it will leave a feeling of emptiness.
Nice-to-Haves - These are the things that you want to do, but if they bring you more stress than joy, they can be let go of or postponed. This list can be difficult to define as many of these items start off as Must-Haves.
Absolutely Nots - These are the things you don't want to do (but sometimes end up doing out of guilt, fear, obligation, etc). You know in your gut what these are. The benefit of listing these out is to have a pre-planned "No" response ready so you aren't taken off-guard and default to saying yes.
One of my clients has completed this exercise. Her Must-Haves list includes several date nights with her partner, reading a couple books on her list, seeing two specific friends for a girls' weekend, some really focused time on a meaningful project at work, and a special trip with the entire family before school starts. Much of this requires a reliable baby-sitter, so that is also on the list.
Her Nice-to-Haves include a trip to the beach and a museum, seeing her in-laws, and some neighborhood BBQs, as long as she isn't planning or hosting them.
Her Absolutely-Nots include hiking with specific friends (last year the trip was drama-filled and not relaxing at all), committing to any specific workout routine indoors (she prefers to run outside but keeps saying yes to indoor gym challenges and then regrets them), work travel, and traveling to see her parents.
She knows summer is limited and she can see her parents and some of her other friends in the fall. Work travel can wait. She anticipates it may be hard to say no to her parents or a work trip if asked, so she planned her very kind and considerate "not right now but I'm definitely looking forward to it in the fall" response.
And most importantly, she started scheduling her Must-Haves into her calendar to see what is truly feasible. She is also scheduling some open, unplanned afternoons into her calendar so that she has flexibility for work demands and to leave space for some of her Nice-to-Haves.
This isn't rocket science. Yet this is such an effective way to proactively and intentionally make your summer what YOU want it to be.
Take 15 minutes right now to think through your lists and start to pencil in your Must-Haves. Look at everything and shift it around until you see your summer plan and you feel excited!
If you look at your lists and you feel "just ok", then it isn't quite there yet. I want you to look at what you have planned and feel truly excited with a huge smile on your face!
I want you to feel empowered to make this summer work for YOU and your life. Feel confident saying no to the things that don't light you up. Feel JOMO - the JOY of Missing Out! Feel fulfilled with your plan, regardless of what everyone else around you is doing.
Summer is almost here, and you have the power to either enjoy it, or let it slip away in a haze of stress and self-doubt.
You DESERVE to enjoy this life you are working so hard for!
Cheers to your blissful summer,
Sharon
Plan Your Stress Free Summer!
Join me and a fabulous group of women for a conversation around creating your stress-free, fun-filled summer! We will create space to think through our lists and the things that often get in our way.
This is a stress-free, come-as-you-are virtual event on Wednesday May 17th at 7pm. Click HERE to register!
Cher and Carolyn from Inspired Elephant bring Sister Talks to women every month, and this month I will be contributing to the conversation to help everyone get clear on what they truly want this summer and how to create intentionality and boundaries. Together we will create a game plan to achieve the ever-elusive Summer Bliss!
