What's Your Scariest Costume?
What scares you the most?
Halloween always remind me of scary horror movies, which creep me out. But the scariest thing to me has nothing to do with witches, ghosts, or masked murderers. My biggest fear is to live a half life - always dressed up as something I'm not. I don't want to wake up one day and realize my time is up before I was able to fully live into the life I want. How do I combat that fear?
Being Real with Yourself
I have to constantly remind myself to remove my "costume". The one I used to wear daily - the mask of happiness, the people-pleasing smiles, the conforming style, the polite responses - even when I wanted to scream.
That costume got me a lot of so-called candy! A career, advancement, a network of people, and what I craved most, RECOGNITION & ACCEPTANCE. However, at the end of the day, deep down I knew it wasn't fully me. My costume was on point, but at night when I took it off, I felt unsatisfied.
Fast forward to now, and I don't wear that costume. Do I still want to grab it in times of discomfort and uncertainty? Yes. But I no longer want to wear it all the time because the thing that scares me more than not being liked/accepted by others is not living a fulfilling life.
What scares you? What masks or costumes are you wearing? How often?
What fears are you trying to overcome? What are you hiding when you put on your costume?
WHAT KEEPS YOU UP AT NIGHT?
Be real with yourself, name it, and then address it. With intention, with self-compassion, and with support (whether that is a mentor, coach, therapist, friend, or some combination of all of these).
I was wearing a costume to cover up my insecurity and lack of self-love. The thought that started keeping me up at night was "Will I ever live my dreams? Or will I keep living the life society tells me I should and feel unfulfilled?"
After being honest with myself about the contributors to my fears and addressing the issues head on, I was able to realize how unnecessary my costumes were.
They were weighing me down. They were getting old, too tight, and too childish. I grew out of them. But not through the pure passage of time (like the way kids grow up and out of their little costumes), but with INTENTION.
The fear of not living the life I wanted was greater than my fear of not being liked for who I REALLY was. So I started intentionally building my skills, loving myself, and stepping into my confidence.
Nowadays, I put on costumes for pure fun, not out of necessity. But there aren't any more masks. What you see is what you get - and sometimes that is happiness, empathy, and understanding. Other days it is frustration, boundaries, and a break from what others want from me. And still other days it is a new look that I've grown into as I continue to evolve.
You have the freedom to dress up however you want. But do it out of intention and empowered choice, not out of fear.
Be scared of horror movies and things that go bump in the night. Don't let yourself fall into the real horror of being stuck in a life that you don't enjoy.
Cheers to overcoming your fears,
Sharon
Balancing Fear and Comfort
You can balance your fear with your desired comfort. As I work through the opposing realities of taking care of myself while taking care of others, certainty vs. uncertainty, and planning vs. execution - I am living the content of my upcoming Finding Your Flow workshop. We all have many of these opposing demands in life that we can never fully solve for. We must deal with each but we don't need to suffer and feel torn.
There is a proven methodology to help you flow more seamlessly between these opposing demands in life. It is called polarity mapping and I am teaching it in my upcoming workshop Finding Your Flow. You will leave with your personal completed map that will help you more easily flow between your demands instead of feeling pulled apart by them.
Finding Your Flow Workshop Details:
Date: Nov 11th, 12-1:30pm ET (virtual)
Cost: $95
Includes the workshop, an optional group coaching session on Nov 18 at 12pm ET, the polarity mapping workbook, and a recording of the session for future reference.
REGISTER HERE
This is a simple, cost-effective way to get a real handle on your stressors and make practical changes to create less stress and more flow. With more flow comes more joy, freedom, and focus. Questions? Email me or set up time to chat HERE.
Life is too short to stay stressed and stuck. I've helped so many people reclaim their life. I can help you too.
