Tips for Healthy Self-Promotion
How do you talk about yourself?
More specifically, how do you promote yourself? Many women are great at highlighting others while staying out of the spotlight. It demonstrates humility and support of others but can also diminish your contributions and how others see you. Let's dive into how to feel more comfortable promoting yourself while still promoting others so that EVERYONE wins :)
Healthy Self-Promotion
"Don't brag."
"Don't be shy."
"Claim your accomplishments!"
"Stay humble and kind."
"Be grateful for what you have."
"If you don't ask, you won't receive."
Women hear a mix of these statements through our entire lives, creating confusion, shame, and/or discomfort when talking about ourselves, our accomplishments, and what we want.
No wonder so many of us aren't great at self-promotion!
Even that term 'self-promotion'. Does it give you a feeling? Is it negative or positive?
Per the dictionary, self-promotion is defined as: the act of furthering one's own growth, advancement, or prosperity. Which sounds very positive to me, yet society likes to make us feel otherwise at times.
Here's the thing: People talk about you the way you talk about you. People get to know you through the things you share about yourself. People know (or don't know) what you want based on what you ask for.
Everyone is too busy to step back and think thoroughly about you. Given unlimited time and energy, people may ask more thoughtful follow-ups to get to the heart of who you really are. But that isn't our current reality.
So most people are taking information in at face value that is most easy to understand - whether that is accurate or not.
If you want more opportunities to achieve your goals, you need to self-promote.
Here are some practical ways to make this easier:
Get clear on your personal brand - who you are, what you value, what you are good at, and how you want to contribute going forward
Simplify your personal brand so it is memorable and easy to comprehend
Have a clear ask and ask for it consistently - contacts at the organization you want to work at, stretch projects to support a future promotion, an introduction to your desired mentor, etc.
Offer something in return - an intro to someone in my network, a helping hand, a way to amplify your message/business, etc.
Here is an example:
Unclear, unhelpful way to introduce myself at a conference: I'm Sharon, I'm here to meet others and be supportive. Go women! What do you do? (This feels safe, generic enough, and let's me focus on them instead of focusing on me)
More specific way to self-promote: I'm Sharon, a former CPA turned coach committed to helping women achieve work AND life success on their terms. I'm here to connect with organizations and women looking for programming or coaching to help clarify their definition of success and reclaim their joy in order to reach their goals. I'd appreciate connections to anyone you know looking for this type of support. If I can connect you with someone in my network, I am happy to do so! (This feels real, honest, and will help me get what I want while offering to help others. It also feels a little harder to say and possibly like I am taking up too much airtime. When I say it out loud, it takes 30 seconds.)
Do you see the difference?
Does the second example feel pushy, braggy, or aggressive? Is 30 seconds too long to talk about oneself?
I don't think so (but you may, and that's ok). I'm asking because your opinion will be influenced by your internal beliefs about self-promotion.
If self-promotion is hard, the first step is understanding what is in your way.
Is it a cultural/societal belief of what a "good girl" is? Is it a lack of confidence or clarity about who you are and what you want? Do you dislike being in the spotlight? Are you afraid of coming off as aggressive or pushy?
Really dig into why it feels so uncomfortable. (It may simply be a lack of practice)
Because once you know why, you can start debunking the untrue beliefs underneath that obstacle and start creating healthy ways to self-promote.
Here is what I know after years of personal experience and helping clients better self-promote - you will not get what you want if you are not clear.
CLEAR IS KIND! (Brene Brown says so!)
Whether it is the promotion at work, the seat at the table, the opportunity to speak at that conference, the big client, or the last chocolate-frosted donut in the box on the conference room table - BE CLEAR.
Talk about what you bring to the table so people 1) remember you, 2) know what you want, and 3) can bring you opportunities that align.
*Quick note* - don't talk about things you don't want more of. In my intro (and as a former CPA with a vast financial and accounting skillset), I could talk about how I can help people with budgets, technical accounting expertise, and financial operational excellence, or how I can lead high-functioning corporate teams.
It would be true, but I don't want more of that work. I focus on the work I want to do - which is supporting transformation for women through coaching and programming.
I know it is easy to focus on what people have already noticed you for. If you love doing that, great! But if that isn't the direction you want to go, don't keep associating with it.
The way you talk about yourself is what people will remember, so be clear on the types of opportunities you are looking for going FORWARD, especially if it is different from what you've previously done.
This skill is like any other - it takes time and practice to improve. But authentic, true, and clear self-promotion is vitally important to your future success and fulfillment.
Honest and healthy self-promotion makes you real, relatable, and able to attract the right people and opportunities for YOU. If someone doesn't like the way you self-promote, then they aren't for you, and that is also great information to know!
Most people need help as they navigate this new skill, which is my passion and expertise. Schedule a free call HERE to discuss where you are and what you want moving forward.
Cheers to your healthy self-promotion,
Sharon
Healthy Self-Promotion Webinar Aug 14 - Under $20!
If this topic resonates, you are in luck! I'm co-hosting a virtual program on Aug 14th with Juliet Hart - former scientist, HR professional, and current founder of Hart & Chin (which provides leadership consulting to scientists) - to work through healthy self-promotion while elevating others!
Registration Details:
Wed, Aug 14 - 12 - 1:30pm ET
REGISTER HERE
There will be a workbook and breakout sessions to practice your new skills. Come learn, connect, and make progress in a safe space, and start transforming your self-promotion into something that truly represents who you are and what you want!
Can't make it? Schedule a free, confidential strategy call by CLICKING HERE (Choose Free Strategy Session) and we can talk through your next best step.
Life is too short to keep putting off what you really want. Don't stay stuck feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and unsatisfied. I've helped so many improve their happiness, well-being, and success because they chose to schedule a call and take one step towards the life of their dreams. I can help you too.
