These Four Agreements Will Change Your Life
Live by These Four Agreements
If we all lived by these four agreements, HOLY SMOKES our lives would be so good! No one is perfect so I'm not sure anyone lives by these ALL the time, but I'm sharing ways to help you make these your norm:
1 - Be impeccable with your word
2 - Don't take anything personally
3 - Don't make assumptions
4 - Always do your best
Improve Your Day
I read The Four Agreements - A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz a few years ago. Each time I see them it reminds me how these four simple things can make such a difference in our lives.
Everything from our relationships, our careers, our health, and our success benefit from following these agreements:
1. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
The part I love most about this description is about not talking bad about yourself. How many of you have unhealthy self-talk? Flip it to more positive things. The voice you hear the most often is your own. You have the ability to build your confidence or destroy it - choose wisely.
2. DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
I can't stress this one enough. Every reaction another person has is because of their history, habits, and perceptions. Some people pick up snakes and love them. Others scream bloody murder and run. The snake is the snake. The reaction has nothing to do with the makeup of the animal and everything to do with each person's perception of whether it is a pet or a demon.
In a work or family setting, it is so much harder to distinguish because it is your work, it is what you said, etc. If there is something you can learn from the other person's reaction that is helpful, then take constructive feedback and move on. But if it is hurting you more than helping you, then you need to detach.
It isn't all about you. That fact either gives you freedom or makes you feel small. Again - choose wisely.
3. DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
I've been the person that says one thing but means another. I did it a lot in my corporate life because I believed being liked was more important than meeting my needs or asking for what I wanted. I've also assumed a lot because I didn't want to ask follow up questions. Every time it resulted in so much unnecessary drama, stress, and resentment.
Really evaluate what holds you back from speaking your truth and asking questions. Whether it is fear of being rejected, not wanting to be a "pain", or something else, working on this agreement will absolutely change your life for the better.
4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST- Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
This agreement is the one that is most misunderstood. In my circles, "doing your best" is the rationale for completely burning out. Most people assume doing your best means putting 110% into everything at all times, which we all know is impossible yet we try to do it anyway.
Your "best" is different moment to moment. And quite frankly, not every last thing in this world demands your best. But I am a big fan of avoiding self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
Regret and the fear of waking up at 70 years old and wondering why I didn't live the life I wanted is what drove me to make some of the wholesale changes I have in my life. Instead of living for everyone else, I am paying attention to what energizes me and what fuels my dreams and goals.
Do I do my best every day? No, I'm not perfect. I revert to autopilot some days and other days I throw my hands up and accept that it is going to be a sh*t-show-kind-of-day.
But most days I'm trying to do my best WITHOUT overdoing it. It is a slippery slope and that edge is almost impossible to find without falling off it at times. But over time I've gotten better at accepting that my "best" fluctuates wildly day to day, AND that I am worthy, deserving, and lovable EVERY DAY, regardless of what my best looked like.
This is true for you too. You are amazing. You are worthy, deserving, and lovable. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Find ways to incorporate these four agreements into your life and it will help you feel that way more and more. If you want help, reach out and we can find ways to make these a reality for you.
Cheers to YOUR four agreements,
Sharon
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