Shut Off Your Mind & Have Fun!
Shut Off Your Mind and Have Fun!
Ever find it hard to shut your mind off, even when you are on vacation? Whether your spring break is finished, just starting, or it's just a normal weekend, I'm sharing ways to let go of your worries and lean into your spring break vibes.
Let's Do This!
Rumination - the constant and repetitive thoughts about a problem, its cause, and consequences - can keep us from enjoying the current moment.
Our minds can get stuck in a loop about what someone said, our job security, or how something could've gone better. It can ruin our time off (or time doing enjoyable things) which is why it is so important to get a handle on it.
Worrying doesn't take away tomorrow's troubles, it just ruins today's peace.
Studies have shown that most US workers over-report the number of hours they work, however their stress levels, burn out, and exhaustion are real. In the book Do Nothing, author Celeste Headlee talks about the concept of polluted time - time spent thinking about work even when we aren't actively working - thus polluting our ability to enjoy time away from work.
Solution: There are many and unfortunately there's no way to know what works for you without experimenting. For some, meditation helps train the brain to be in the present moment and let other thoughts flow through without letting them take hold. For others, it involves being physically active such as taking a walk, attending a workout class, or stretching.
For the majority of my clients, their busy careers and lives are all-consuming. They need something just as consuming to take their mind off of their stressors, including things like reading, playing chess, building something, creating art, taking a dance class, serving food at a soup kitchen, or being fully involved in a conversation or activity with someone else.
As beneficial as sitting quietly is, it doesn't work for most people who have a hard time turning their mind off. (It can over time with regular meditation and practice)
To decrease your rumination, I've successfully helped clients with the following method:
Give yourself time to think/vent/process the issue. Set a timer or call a friend and give it space to be released. Shoving it down only allows it to resurface and keep you in the rumination loop. But not time-boxing it can let it take up too much space.
Identify the real underlying issue. When your boss didn't respond directly to your question about job security, is your rumination about the fear of losing your income, your frustration that once again this jerk didn't respond so you feel disrespected, something else, or all of the above?
Accept that you have an issue. After you identify the issue accept that this is how you are feeling and decide if there is something you can do about it or not. If you can ask a follow-up or go to someone else to calm your mind, do it. If there is no answer or resolution, then accept that uncertainty is the final answer (for the moment), and that this feels uncomfortable.
Decide when to deal with the issue. You can have fear, frustration, anger, or angst around an issue. And you can decide to put that feeling on a shelf to deal with later. It might sound like, "I am worried about my job security but there is nothing I can do about it right now other than update my resume. It is Friday, so I will set aside time next week to update my resume and worry about it then."
Actively choose to do something that will consume your mind enough to take the place of those thoughts. This might include the activities I listed above, or it might include a change in location, listening to music, or lighting a candle to bring a new scent to your senses. It also may include NOT doing something, such as scrolling social media or watching the news, which may retrigger your stressful looping thoughts.
This process needs to be practiced over and over. Your ruminating thoughts will break through. But you have the power to revisit the process as many times as you need to in order to reclaim as much of your time as you can.
And that's it. There is no perfect solution. There is no 100% way to cut through the distracting and stressing thoughts. And that is frustrating!
I get it. But everything in life is a process. We can't solve for these recurring thoughts, fears, and frustrations once and for all. There will always be triggering events and circumstances that try to take over.
All we can do is practice exercising the power we have - the power where to focus our own mind.
We get to choose in any moment what to think and what to do next. We all get caught up in the momentum of our jobs, our responsibilities, the stress of our demands, and the weight of the world.
Personally, when I ruminate, I need to externally verbalize what I am thinking about in order to move past it. If I can't quite identify the underlying fear/issue I am having with it, I say out loud, "I'm not even sure why I can't let this go but it's driving me crazy."
And then I need to actively choose to do something else. It is usually a walk or something else physical along with music. That combination allows for me to shift my mind and at least put it off to the side until a time that I can revisit the thoughts and actually do something about them.
You deserve to enjoy your time!! Don't let ruminating about an issue pollute the limited time you have to do the things you love.
I know it is easier said than done but give it a try and let me know which strategies work best for you. And if your mind is stuck, reach out and let's find a way forward together.
I'm wishing you spring break vibes of fun, ease, and joy (whether you have time off or not)!
Cheers to a clear mind,
Sharon
Create Clarity & Fun
Are you clear on what success means to you in your life, family, and career? If not, I can help you figure it out and create a written definition of what success means to you in all aspects of life. Together we can create a path to achieve it with less stress and overwhelm.
Schedule a free strategy call to discuss where you are and what you want by CLICKING HERE. I take pride in providing practical, actionable steps that work in your very busy life so that you can create work/life success on your terms.
Whether it is this one call, a Life Vision Intensive, ongoing coaching, or a workshop to bring into your organization - I meet you where you are to help you get where you want to go.
Life is too short to stay stressed and stuck. I've helped so many people reclaim their life. I can help you too.
