Are you giving up? Or letting go?

Giving Up vs. Letting Go

There is a big difference between giving up and letting go.  Giving up means selling yourself short.  It means allowing fear and struggle to limit your opportunities and keep you stuck.  Letting go means freeing yourself from something that is no longer serving you. 

Giving up reduces your life.  Letting go expands it. 
Giving up is imprisoning.  Letting go is liberation. 
Giving up is self-defeat.  Letting go is self-care.    
~ Danielle Koepke

How do you decide?

The words above were so inspiring I shared them as-is from the source.  I have struggled with the difference between giving up and letting go most of my life.

I've held onto things that almost killed me because I thought that if I let them go, I was giving up.  And I don't "give up". 

A lot of my identity was around being a "hard worker, resilient, handles anything, doesn't give up".  So even when things felt terrible, I felt there was no other option.  It was expected of me, I could handle it, and so I did it even if I hated every minute of it.
 
But just because you CAN do something doesn't mean you SHOULD.

That is what we call choice.  And freedom.  Breaking away from what everyone (including your ego/identity) thinks you should do and actually choosing the next best action for YOU. 

This is a tough concept.  It is especially hard when we are thinking through our career, relationships, and other large parts of our lives.

Letting go of a person in your life that drains you, causes you drama or heartache, and makes you feel crappy is an act of self-care.  But others, especially that other person, might try to guilt trip you and tell you that you are just "giving up", you are a selfish person, etc. etc.

I'm not saying that letting go is always the first choice.  Relationships generally deserve time, a few heart-to-heart conversations, and a chance to find a true understanding.  But if you've tried those things and nothing is improving, then it is time to let go.

When you are working in an organization whose values do not align with your own, it can be excruciating.  I know this firsthand.  I've always valued relationships, connection, and supporting others as whole beings. 

I spent years climbing the corporate ladder and there were many times that it was difficult.  But in those moments, I learned a lot and at the end of the day, those experiences expanded my life, my learning, and my future possibilities.

But then there was one organization where the challenges outweighed the benefits.  This organization valued speed, winning at all costs, and being the winning underdog story at all costs.  Regardless of how much the people suffered.

I had pride in my role.  I knew it would be hard work.  And I wasn't going to quit. 

So day after day, I watched people's needs be ignored for the sake of speed and winning.  And I believed that if I just worked harder and did more, I could meet their goals.

The reality was I cared for the people and couldn't stand the culture.  But I couldn't quit.  Because that meant I was a failure.  It meant I couldn't hack it.  And it meant I was GIVING UP.  And as I've already stated, I don't give up.

So I held on with all of my might.  The result:  EVERYTHING suffered, including my health, sanity, family, relationships, and career. 

I was unwilling to see that I needed to LET GO.  And by not recognizing this distinction, I almost lost everything I was working so hard for. 

So as you think about your career, your relationships, your hobbies, the town you live in, your home, your car, the clothes you wear, and all of the bills you pay for x, y, and z - Ask yourself if these things are still worth holding onto.  Are they still serving you?

Do you feel good, energized, peaceful, excited, happy?

Or do you feel drained, sad, depressed, anxious, stressed?

Again - being outside of your comfort zone isn't a bad thing.  This is where growth happens.  Not taking an opportunity because you are afraid of failing is GIVING UP. But not taking an opportunity because you are not interested in it, it stresses you, and it doesn't help you reach your definition of success is LETTING GO.

And only you can make these assessments.  It doesn't matter what anyone else's opinion is.  They may say "Oh, she gave up, she's a quitter, she couldn't hack it".  Who cares.

This isn't high school.  This is YOUR LIFE. 

There is no award for the person who held onto the most amount of stuff.  There is no award for the person who suffered the most.

There is only your life.  And the more you hold onto stuff that doesn't serve you, the less room you have for the things you DO want.

Read that again.

You do not have infinite time or energy.  You can't do an infinite amount of things in any given day, month, or year.  You have to choose.

And if you don't distinguish what you need to let go of, it will weigh you down and keep you from all of the joy and goodness that you are working for.

This is true for mindsets and identities as well.  Just because you have always been the hard-driving person with all the answers doesn't mean you have to be forever.  It may have served you well.  But when that identity starts to keep you from the things you want in life, then it has served its purpose and it is time to let it go.

Don't give up.  But don't be afraid to let go.

I can't tell you how much I hate people who try to be witty and say random conflicting stuff like that.  So please know that this is coming from a deep place of understanding.  I see you.  I know this stuff is hard to figure out.

Yet this is the difference between success and failure.  Between fulfillment and checking the box.  Between living the life you know you want and living a life of mediocrity.  Between thriving and barely surviving.  

Figuring this out for yourself is your life's work. 

Not easy.  But entirely worth it.

Cheers to letting it go,
Sharon

Unsure of what to let go of?

I can help you figure out what you truly want in life - in your health, relationships, career, family, finances, and community.  I can help you explore the differences between giving up and letting go.

Whether it is to better enjoy the present moment or to set yourself up for success for the rest of this year, I offer clarity sessions, consistent support, and accountability through several options.  Schedule a free, confidential strategy call by CLICKING HERE (Choose Free Strategy Session) and we can decide what's best for you.

** Don't delay, as I have discounted rates available if you schedule your free strategy session before Oct 31st (the actual call can take place in November) **

Life is too short to keep putting off what you really want.  Don't stay stuck feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and unsatisfied.  I've helped so many improve their happiness, well-being, and success because they chose to schedule a call and take one step towards the life of their dreams.  I can help you too.