6 Ways to Thrive Through Crisis

Thriving Through Crisis

Sounds like an oxymoron, but it is possible to be in crisis AND thrive.  As a flurry of storm-related events took place in the southeast last weekend, I'm re-sharing the six most helpful things through my experience of being displaced from Hurricane Ian two years ago.  These coincide with the strategies my clients have utilized to work through extremely challenging crisis in their lives.  Lean into these strategies and start building them now, before you really need them.

Building Your Reserves

Your crisis may be the loss of a loved one, a financial setback, a natural disaster, the loss of a job, a geographical relocation, the end of a relationship, the loss of the life you thought you would have, a health diagnosis for you or a loved one, an attack (physical or mental), or something else.  Regardless of the type of crisis, here are some practical ways to help you manage and ultimately succeed.

1.  Financial savings.  Money matters.  Whether your savings account is non-existent right now or very healthy, set up a consistent contribution and let it grow. In the immediate aftermath of any crisis, the last thing you need is to stress about how you will eat, keep a roof over your head, and provide for your basic needs.  

I can't emphasize this enough.  It is great to think money doesn't matter - but it does.  If you have a few months (six to twelve is the goal) of financial cushion, it allows you to take all of the actions needed to move forward and succeed, without putting yourself into debt, ruining your credit, or sacrificing your comforts.

2.  Build your network.  Be good to others, help others when and where you can, be honest, and show up.  Not to your detriment, but to your benefit.  This isn't about fake relationships or "using" people once you are in need.  This is about creating deep relationships that are mutually beneficial.  Whatever you give will come back to you, and you will need it in your time of crisis.

I had never been so overwhelmed by loss while simultaneously being so overwhelmed with gratitude for all of the love and support we received two years ago and many times since (when storms have come too close for comfort).  It matters, it helps, and these relationships must be built before the crisis hits.

3.  Communication of your situation.  This may make you feel even more vulnerable.  And while not everyone needs to know all of the details, the sooner you let those in your network know what you are dealing with, the sooner they can 1) work around it, and 2) offer support.

If you are not in a position to communicate (due to grief, crisis, etc.) delegate it to someone who can.  Whether it is asking your partner to call your boss, or a friend to post your recent loss on social media, get it out there.

Not everyone agrees with this, and many prefer to keep their hard times to themselves.  But in my experience, humans are mostly good.  And when someone they care about is experiencing a crisis, they want to extend them support and understanding.  Even if someone doesn't agree (maybe a divorce following an affair), it gives people perspective as to why you may not be available, on point, or responsive.

This will give you space to breathe and give others the opportunity to extend compassion instead of expecting something from you.  Also, you don't need to divulge all of the details to all of the people. 

Update people as you can and consider delegating that to someone else that knows the situation.  People are curious by nature.  They will fill in the gaps with their own assumptions, so it is better to get the truth out there.

4.  Ask for what you need & accept the help.  Dovetailing off the communication above, it is really important to ask for what you need AND accept the help.  You may be asking for space, money, a place to live, an expert in a specific disease state, a connection in your career space, a new job opportunity, a grief counselor, etc.  

Be clear on what you do NOT need - after divulging our loss after the hurricane on social media, I told people I did NOT want the "we will rebuild" comments yet.  I mentally wasn't ready for it.  But no one else knew that.  So I asked for what I needed and what I did not.  

I also didn't want a bunch of new toys for the boys (some were fine).  We were in temporary housing, we needed to move again, and while all of those offers were extremely generous and well intentioned, I was clear that it wasn't what we needed. 

You may not know what you need, which is likely.  This is why communicating as much as you feel comfortable with your network helps.  Because someone else has been through this whether you know it or not.  Your network has connections, knowledge, and ways to help you that you don't even know.  

The strongest, happiest, most successful people I know ask for help regularly, and especially in crisis.

ACCEPT THE HELP.  I'm emphasizing this.  It is still hard for me.  Especially knowing that there are others who are going through worse. 

It doesn't matter. 

Take each and every offer of help that supports you.  People won't offer it if they can't do it.  And it feels good for THEM.

How many times have you felt helpless and overwhelmed by someone else's crisis, wishing there was something you could do?  Most of us feel this.  And it feels so good to be able to meet their need, whether it is in a small or big way.  Let others feel good.  Let others step up.  Let others extend their help.

You will be able to return it or pay it forward at a future time in your life, when the crisis has passed. Because if nothing else, we grow through crisis, and your ability to give back after it passes will expand.

5.  Self-care.  This is almost impossible in the midst of the crisis.  You will revert to survival mode, and your survival is based on your needs and your habits.  So build in the habits NOW.  Whether it is grabbing a banana instead of chips, calling a friend for help on a small issue before a big one, or going for a walk instead of taking a shot of Tequila - these are the ways in which you will likely default in crisis.

The habits you build to deal with everyday stressors will be there for you when the bigger crisis happens.  Will you be able to eat healthy, stay active, and keep calm? No, most likely not.  But you may have the strength to still eat, to refrain from extremely harmful coping mechanisms, and to lean on a shoulder that is offered to you, and that will help.

6.  Professional help.  Use your money (from your savings in #1) and get the professional help you need.  This generally won't be immediately but should be as soon as possible after the crisis hits.  Whether it is a resume writer, coach, therapist, doctor, rehab, consultant, lawyer, investigator - don't leave your future up to amateurs.  Professionals are removed from the emotion of your crisis and can give you the perspective, next steps, and proven help that will make the difference between surviving and thriving.  Know your benefits and ask your network for reliable recommendations (again using that "asking-for-help" muscle!)

The theme of these strategies?  You have to build these NOW in order to have them available for you when you need them.

If we didn't have money in our savings account, good credit, and a network of people willing to provide us with gift cards, tools, physical help clearing our home, professional extensions on deliverables, and emotional support - we would have been dead in the water.  

And I'm not exaggerating.  We would have been defaulting on our mortgage and floundering in temporary, FEMA provided housing in motels with no real school for our boys.

But we didn't suffer through those things.  We were truly thriving just weeks after the hurricane.  We found housing, schooling, maintained our jobs/business, and built resilience.

Resilience is such an overused word.  What we really built was a deep belief that we can figure things out.  Our boys saw us cry and simultaneously move forward.  They saw us put one foot in front of the other, take one step at a time, and slowly but surely rebuild the life we want.

We were able to do that because we spent years building our savings account, our amazing network, practicing vulnerability, asking for what we need, instilling self-care, and accepting help.  Our daily habits built the equity that we heavily drew down on when we needed it two years ago.  That is what it is was there for.  

Start today.  Start small.  Be consistent.  Build your base.  Make deposits into your bank, network, and self so they will hold you up in your time of need.

Cheers to your future, stronger, successful self,
Sharon

THRIVE Through Year-End - FREE Virtual Workshop

Crisis or not - you CAN finish this year with focus and fun!  Join me for my FREE virtual workshop:  Season of Success:  Fun, Focus, & Finishing Strong!  Together we will clarify your year-end goals, let go of distractions, and create an action plan. Make this year-end successful and fulfilling, instead of overwhelming and disappointing. (Imagine actually enjoying the holidays feeling refreshed this year, instead of sliding into them on fumes??)  

REGISTER HERE

Details:
October 10th, 12-1pm ET
Virtual on Teams
Workbook included to create your year-end plan

Can't make it?  Register and you'll receive the recording or schedule a free call HERE to explore your 4th quarter goals together.

Life is too short to keep putting off what you really want.  Don't stay stuck feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and unsatisfied.  I've helped so many improve their happiness, well-being, and success because they chose to schedule a call and take one step towards the life of their dreams.  I can help you too.