What If You're Working for the Wrong Things?
What if.....
Everything you think will make you happier, won't? What if you are spending your time on all the wrong things? And if the things you are chasing aren't making you happier, then what will? I'm sharing my learnings from "The Science of Wellbeing" Yale course I completed several years ago because YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND WELL!
The Science of Wellbeing
As we wrap up May's Mental Health Awareness Month, I am reflecting on the Yale course "The Science of Wellbeing", which presented study after study proving that the things we commonly believe will make us happier, actually don't. Our minds play tricks on us to make us "miswant" things.
"Miswanting" is described as wanting something because we think it will make us happier, but once we get that thing, it doesn't actually improve our overall happiness or wellbeing as much as we think it will. So we want more and keep trying to fill the happiness hole.
We stay on the proverbial hamster wheel chasing happiness and wellbeing while actually exhausting ourselves and decreasing our mental and physical wellbeing. Sound familiar?
This issue of miswanting is due to hedonic adaptation, a phenomenon seen in human behavior that describes a set point or emotional baseline for subjective wellbeing. Essentially, this means that you typically adjust to changes in your life, so the excitement or unhappiness you may feel after positive or negative life events usually fades or wears off over time, returning you to your default level of happiness.
Common "miswantings" include:
Good job
Lots of money
Awesome stuff (material things)
True love
The perfect body
Perfect grades/performance
Look at that list again. How can it be possible that those things won't make us happier?
Based on the research, these things can give us a temporary happiness boost, but generally our happiness levels quickly return to the same level as before we achieved them. In the case of attaining the perfect body, research showed that women who pursued cosmetic surgery for a better appearance actually reported lower happiness levels post-surgery.
If working so hard for these things won't actually make us happier, then what will?
Based on the research, these are the things that will improve your happiness and wellbeing:
Social connection
Sleep
Meditation
Healthy eating
Exercise
Gratitude
Time affluence (the feeling of having enough time)
Experiences (instead of material things)
We've all heard these before, yet most of my clients sacrifice these things in order to attain the things on the first list.
If you are reading this and rejecting the data, I get it. I did too for most of my life. I sacrificed sleep, time with my friends and family, healthy eating, and exercise in order to work harder to get promoted, earn more money, and buy more things.
And I ended up burnt out, unhappy, and unfulfilled. Who would've guessed? Clearly the lovely professor Laurie Santos at Yale could have guessed. This isn't a study of one, she presented multiple studies showing the truth behind each of these.
This isn't to say you can't still work hard to earn and buy what you want. It doesn't mean you will end up being a miserable person if you pursue the items on the first list. Money helps you get some of the things on the second list. But you will be LESS happy if you spend all of your time on your "miswantings" and sacrifice the items on the "list of things that actually make you happy".
Your wellbeing is up to YOU.
It will always be your responsibility to direct your time, effort, and choices. Use the SCIENCE (not your emotions or "miswantings") to make the best choices possible for YOU.
Because when you feel good, you have the power to positively influence your family, your colleagues, and your community.
Isn't your wellbeing worth it?
Cheers to YOUR scientifically-proven wellbeing,
Sharon
Let's Create Your Best Summer Ever!
Wellbeing starts with clarity on what you REALLY want and creating a path to achieve it. Join me on June 4th with an amazing group of women who want to take control of their summer and set themselves up for success through year-end! My "Best Summer Ever: Create Summer Fun and Fuel Year-End Success" workshop is FREE and you will walk away with your own map to a fun summer that sets you up for success through year-end. Register for the session that works best for you:
June 4 - 12-1pm ET
June 4 - 7-8pm ET
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