Think Win/Win - Habit #4 of Highly Effective People
Think Win/Win - Habit #4
The first three of Stephen Covey's habits support our personal success, our independence:
Be Proactive
Begin with the End in Mind
Put First Things First
As we continue this Summer Series on effectiveness, we move into interdependent habits - successful relationships and relational ways of being - starting with Habit #4 from Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Think Win/Win.
How much better would things be if we all thought win/win? As a coach, this is one of the most effective ways my clients have improved their careers - they find ways to benefit themselves AND their organization/teams, and the results are even better than we anticipate. So here we go..... for the WIN/WIN.........
It Feels Good to Win
And it can significantly improve your relationships, career, finances, and organization if you are invested in allowing the "other side" to win as well.
Thinking Win/Win is so important for sustained success and fulfillment. I'm not talking about participation trophies or dumbing down things to a common denominator. I'm talking about solutions where both sides win - contributing to healthier, sustainable, more effective ways of moving forward for everyone involved.
Win/win requires bigger picture, longer term thinking.
Win/win thinking requires that we get out of our ego and into our integrity.
Win/win thinking is the result of integrity + balanced consideration for ourselves and others.
This is in clear contrast with win/lose thinking that is more prevalent in our society. Win/lose thinking is based on our ego, bragging rights, and that short-term feeling of being on top. But win/lose situations often turn into losing situations for the perceived winner over time.
Win/Win = Mutual Success over time
Win/Lose = Lose/Lose over time
I've seen so many examples of destructive win/lose thinking during my career and through my clients' experiences.
The CFO who is gouging partners and vendors to save money (WIN for CFO, LOSE for vendor), only to have those same relationships fall apart months later and result in significant losses to the organization (LOSE/LOSE).
The eager applicant for the promotion stretching the truth about their abilities to score the role (WIN), while their future team and leaders suffer from underperformance (LOSE). This ultimately results in countless organizational losses and a tarnished reputation of the original "winner". (LOSE/LOSE).
The controlling partner who gets what they want now (WIN), while their loved one feels walked on and resentful (LOSE). In time, the diminished partner leaves and creates financial, emotional, and family losses that can't be repaired, harming both of them (LOSE/LOSE).
The parent who demands certain behavior from their child to meet social expectations (WIN), regardless of the needs of their child who may be feeling underappreciated, unloved, or unworthy (LOSE). This can turn into a host of mental health issues and ruined relationships between parent and child, and this type of harm usually takes years to heal. The original intent of the parent to control their child to meet society's expectations (intended WIN) results in countless losses for both the parent and child in years to come (LOSE/LOSE).
In some of these examples, the original intent of win/lose is known to the person perpetrating it and they feel the win is worth it in their short-sightedness.
In other examples, such as the parent, there may be less awareness of the harm being caused. But it all boils down to the short-term desires of the parent now over the long-term character building that is best for BOTH of them.
We are a society with short attention spans and even shorter memories. We want to win, and we want to win NOW. We see countless examples of celebrities, CEOs, athletes, and business owners in their moment of fame.
We rarely stick around long enough to see the long-term effect of their win/lose mentality. The bankruptcies, divorces, depression, stress, loss of loved ones, irreparably damaged relationships, and dire health consequences.
And when we do see long-term success, we aren't told about the many hours, months, years of patience and building it took to invest in win/win situations. But at their core, all long-standing successful businesses, relationships, and financial situations are built on win/win thinking.
Now that you can see the benefits of win/win thinking, how can you apply this in your own life and career?
What is keeping you from considering win/win situations? Is it your ego? Your desire to be perceived as successful? Your patience? Your unhealed traumas that falsely convince you that the only way to win is to have the other person lose?
Think about your relationships. In what ways are you practicing win/win thinking? Where are you practicing win/lose, and what are the potential consequences of that thinking in the long-term?
What does it mean to you if others win too? Does it diminish your accomplishments? Your status? Your power? And if the answer to any of those is yes, is it real or perceived?
These are powerful questions, and the answers may not come easily. The answers may be hard to look at. Take some time to really think about how and where you can incorporate more win/win thinking into all aspects of your life.
None of us make it in this world alone. We need each other, and we need each other to be healthy, happy, effective, and fulfilled. We need each other to win.
One of the best habits you can take on to improve your life and the lives of others is to think win/win. Because if you aren't thinking win/win, you are setting yourself up for the inevitable lose/lose.
And that just doesn't make any sense.
Cheers to the Win/Win,
Sharon
Stick with me for this series until we cover all 7 habits!
If you missed any of the previous habits, find the links below:
Habit #1 - Be Proactive
Habit #2 - Begin With The End In Mind
Habit #3 - Put First Things First
**Note - some of this text is directly from Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I've added context where I saw fit and condensed in other sections. His publisher's website is worth a read for more reference and if you can find the time, read the book. Website HERE.**
Increase Your Win/Win Thinking
Helping others define their success is where I start with each and every client. You need to get clear on what is most important to you and better understand those around you to practice more win/win thinking. If you aren't clear on what a true win is for you, then everything you do is a stab in the dark. I help clients figure out what winning looks like for them, while being able to nurture wins for those around them through a Life Vision Intensive.
Click HERE to schedule a free strategy session to further discuss how this can help you.
Together we will gain clarity on what you really want in this life (personally and professionally), uncover your core values, define the impact you want to make, and understand the people and places where you want to spend your time.
A Life Vision Intensive is a 2-hour coaching session where we dive into what energizes you, brings you joy, and makes you feel fulfilled. I provide you a written summary of your Life Vision and your core values, and we discuss how to use it as a tool going forward.
I've helped so many clients define their success and make changes towards a more fulfilling life. You don't have to stay stuck. I can help you too.
